Recently I read somewhere, say nice things to yourself because you are the only one listening.
If you’re anything like me then you’re hard on yourself, sometimes really hard. As I red that, I felt a sense of relief reminding myself that I’m not the only one battling negative-self talk throughout the day. That little voice is what Christine Arylo and Amy Ahlers call our “inner mean girl.”
How do you tell if you have an inner mean girl? Do you blame yourself when something goes wrong, beat yourself up because you didn’t go to yoga for the past month, or slacked on your diet? Diets set us up for failure, so our inner mean girl loves them. Ask yourself; What is my inner mean girl doing to my gut? Is she stressing it out causing digestive issues and blockages? Does she make it twist, turn, sink and doubt?
Unfortunately, our brains are wired for negativity and this mind-chatter follows us through the day and wreaks havoc on our bodies. Negative self-talk turns into negative self-belief and whether we believe we can or we can’t do something; the universe hears that and mirrors that back. We literally need to tell our inner mean girl to take a seat.
So how do we do that? Here are my tips for quieting our inner mean girl.
1. Listen Without Attachment. Listen to the chatter and acknowledge these thoughts as an observer. Do not take them as truth or facts about you, they are feelings and feelings change. Remember, most of what we tell ourselves isn’t true. Allow these negative thoughts move through you and disappear.
2. Set a Morning Intention. When you begin your day with an intention, you set yourself up to win. Morning intentions set the path of seeing the day through the lens of self-love rather than easily falling into the trap of negative self-talk.
You can say, "Today I choose to be kinder, or more loving towards myself.”
3. Surrender Comparison. Stop making yourself feel unworthy based on someone else’s achievements. Don’t sign onto Facebook and compare yourself to someone else’s ‘highlighted reel.’ When you’re feeling envy of someone, send them love. It sounds like the opposite of what you want to do, but the more good vibes you send others, the more you will attract those things you admire about them into your life.
4. Drop Perfectionism. Stop setting the bar so high making it impossible to achieve everything in one day. Stop striving for perfection and don't be afraid to show up for the world as you are. Relieve the pressure you put on yourself and start giving yourself a break! You are enough, just as you are.
Do you have an inner mean girl? Tell us how you overcome your negative self-talk?
Writer: Callie Maggiori