“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher” -Oprah Winfrey
Boundaries establish behavior that we expect in relationships. Letting others overstep our boundaries can come in many forms such as; accepting friends and family members constantly putting us down a shame hole, sucking our positive energy or simply not showing up. Maybe you find yourself having difficulty to saying no, constantly people pleasing or addicted to approval from others.
When we let others step over our boundaries, we are sending them the message that this is ok. Ask yourself; do you continue to stay in unloving relationships, friendships or jobs? If the answer is yes, then you may need reevaluate your boundaries.
Remember, you are the only one who can set and enforce them. We are not being in service to ourselves, or this world when we are operating from a place of disempowerment. Set them on a daily basis and people will learn how to adopt. Here's how to start:
First, write down all the people who you may need to set boundaries with. Write down what those boundaries are.
Where are you being called to say no? Learn to say no and be in your power.
Speak them. The closest people to us can often overstep our boundaries. However, those around us are not mind readers and don’t always understand how we are feeling. Our vibration is our responsibility and it's our responsibility to speak up. To be able to open up and be vulnerable with those around us can be very challenging, but how will you feel if you don’t speak this truth?
Don't spend time with people who don’t show up. Do you accept people in your life that always cancel last minute, don't show up when you need them or don't treat you well? Often we stay in exhausting relationships, tolerating unacceptable behavior for fear of losing people. But the people who want to be in your life will show up. Avoid overcommitting to tiresome friendships and events, by saying no to those who don’t energize or resepct you.
Choose to gracefully exit draining conversations. Do you often find yourself in gossipy conversations with coworkers, friends or even family members? Gossiping and shaming are one of the lowest vibrations and will drain your energy. The discomfort of confrontation is probably one of the biggest reasons we accept gossiping. Saying no to these conversations will put you back in your power. Ask that they keep opinions to themselves and if they don’t stop, remove yourself from the conversation.
Create meaningful boundaries and step into your power when you enforce them. What boundaries do you need to set today?
*All of my experiences are opportunities to gain more clarity, explore my needs and set my boundaries*
Writer: Callie Maggiori